Hurdles for the writing sadhana of Ramana Maharshi Disciple Suri Nagamma

Suri Nagamma,after completing a set of letters, (which were addressed to her brother D.S. Sastri), arranged it for printing and the book was expected around the Jayanti celebrations of Bhagavan in Jan 1947.The books did not come from Madras in time and around July 1947 some twelve copies came from her brother.She presented them to Bhagavan.

As per usual practice, she thought Bhagavan would ask her to give a reading of the book.This did not happen.Bhagavan was not insisting for days.When she persuaded Bhagavn, He merely said,'let all copies come.'She requested Chinnaswami for permission and he also did not agree.After two weeks, when 1000 copies came to Asram after pressmen gave a good reviews, she became happy and wanted to pursue her request to Bhagavan Ramana to give a reading.

It never occurred to her that there was some jealousy and blockades.

After further purusasion to Chinnaswami, she commenced reading them around July 22, 1947. On hearing the news, Suri Nagamma's sister in law also came to Asram with a lot of enthusiasm.After three days of reading, she was called by Chinnaswami from the Office, and was instructed to stop the reading sessions.On the next day, when everyone was waiting anxiously in the Hall, she could not resume the reading.Bhagavan felt bad and He made a remark:When we are asking her to read, someone says not to read.I think no one can read anything here."

Chinnaswami clarified saying that he did not want her to stop reading but only to stop writing further such letters! Chinnaswami further instructed her to give all the manuscripts and also the Asram Library Cave, which she did with a heavy heart, after presenting the manuscripts to Bhagavan to ensure a witness.

Suri Nagamma becme downcast and she did not know what to do in the Asram, excepting looking at Bhagavan with tears in her eyes all the time.She wrote a Telugu poem, called Samarpanam and sent it to Chinta Dikshitar.Poeple later told her in the Asram, that similar fate was met by Munagala Venkatramaiah, the author of Talks.

On seeing her plight, Bhagavan Ramana asked her one day and she told Him:"I am going away from you."Bhagavan kindly replied her: "You are only going away, (meaning that He is not going away.) After this assurance, she became relieved and felt someone had ill-advised Chinnaswami.

Kunju Swami and Muruganar later persuaded her to resume writing.

After a break of about 3 months, she could resume the Letters from 3rd September 1947.

Dikshitar had said in her letter:Sreyamsi bahu vignani... The good deads face more obstacles in this world.

When Suri Nagamma resumed writing,after some time,Chinnaswami again asked her not to write.This time, Suri Nagamma had to simply bluff saying that she is not writing.Everytime Chinnaswami asked her whether she is writing, she had to continue the bluff. This went on for quite some time.

One day, when the kitchen assistants had not turned up,Chinnaswami was doing the cooking and Suri Nagamma went into kitchen for assistance.Chinnaswami said sarcastically: "Amma, these are the days when males have to cook,while females have to write.You are a weak lady taking sattvic food of popcorn and milk.You can go out and do dhyana." Suri Nagamma withdrew quietly.But she was feeling bad about her lies.

While she reported this agony to Bhagavan Ramana, He consoled her saying: "What to do? Such lies become necessary for doing some good work in life. I also told a lie and came to Tiruvannamalai."

Sources:

1) Suri Nagamma - Sri Ramansramam Vazhvum Ninaivum.
2) Arunachala's Ramana Volume VII Book